Emotions

This world is not short of intelligent people. Despite many experiments conducted on three levels—mind, body, and matter—we have not seen or able to create an integrated human being lately. We have not understood the importance of an integral way of life. The power of thought and the power of emotion are both great powers. For total integration, we need to know how to use the power of thought and how to prevent the mind from being disturbed by our emotions.

You may have heard this analogy. Once there was a lame man. He couldn’t walk. He had no crutches; he had nothing at his disposal. And there was a blind man. Both wanted to go to the same village. They started talking to each other, “Is there a way? We both have the same destination.” And after discussion they found a way. The lame man climbed onto the shoulders of the blind man and guided him to their common destination. I used to enjoy this story more like a story when first my dad and then my brother used to tell. But, until recently, I never thought that the power of thought and the power of emotion combine forces to achieve an integrated way of life.

It also means that after introspection and proper understanding of the various aspects of one’s internal states, one can find solutions in life. Learn to think and never tired of thinking. Have clarity of mind. Don’t become a worrier, become a warrior.

Virtually all our actions are controlled by our thoughts. And all our thoughts are controlled by our emotions. You may be a cultured and highly educated person, but suddenly a single emotion upsets you and you start doing things that should not be done. One emotion can disturb your whole being. You spend so much time and energy in culturing, in cultivating, in educating yourself. Yet, one single emotion can disturb you and make you a monster.

Therefore, find out why emotions disturb our entire being. The first, the primary emotion is desire; it is the prime desire from which arise all other desires. If this desire is fulfilled, you become proud and this is a serious problem. If it is not fulfilled, then you get angry. What is anger? Unfulfilled desire is called anger. If desire is not fulfilled you get angry. If it is fulfilled, you become proud.

Second is Pride. Pride is not self-respect, which is a false notion. Learn not to be attached to the things of the world. Attachment is the mother of all miseries.

The third barrier is ego. When you are egotistical, you forget your own people; that create a barrier between you and the reality. “Blood is thicker than water” is an adage and it is true. Ego creates a wall between you and the truth. If you understand a little bit of the anatomy of the inner person, the one within you, it will be easy for you and your life.

Determination is the pillar of success. Don’t condemn yourself if you fail, make efforts. Don’t stop making efforts, that’s very important. To know the truth, there should be truth in mind, action, and speech. Discern the true meanings of “trying” and “making an effort”.

Human prejudices hamper the progress of humanity. Only individuals, those who are aware, can do something in life and they can help others and we all have such potentials. Take some time, and think about it. How can you improve yourself? How can you improve your personality? You cannot change it but you can improve and make it better.

Accomplishing Things

A Native American boy was talking to his grand father. “What do you think about the world situation?” he asked. The grand father replied, “I feel like wolves are fighting in my heart. One is full of anger and hatred; the other is full of love, forgiveness, and peace.” “Which one will win?” asked the boy. To which the grand father replied, “The one I feed”. Not sure if this is real story or not; but, provides the essence of a life – as defined in the law of universe… “You become what you about”.

Regardless of what come before or of what has yet to come, what matters most right now is how we choose to respond to the challenges before us. Will I lie down (as most of do) or will I fight? If the choice is mine, then I choose to finish strong. I will build the level of accountability for everything I do.

There are many a situation where we do not always get the result we want. But in the times that one has to learn on ones commitment, one should always feel a greater sense of accomplishment and satisfaction knowing that I gave it all I did. Well, it is easy to say that I did. I do not think majority of us know what is meant by “giving it all one can”. See the following seven steps to understand what it means and the true “giving” with a sense of accountability.

Step 1: Decide exactly what you want. Yes, be specific!
Step 2: Write it down.
Step 3: Set a deadline for your goals. Deadline has to be realistic and humanly possible. Humanly possible is not what you are willing to and/or how much you want to… To know some of the characteristics of the human, see other topics in this blog.
Step 4: Make a list of everything. A list of obstacles, difficulties you may encounter, required knowledge and skills, people who you need to associate with, cooperation you need from others, and how much you cooperate with others etc.
Step 5: Organize the list. Yes, by sequence and priority.
Step 6: Take action on your plan immediately and each effort has to be action oriented.
Step 7: Do something everyday.

Only human has potential to follow ALL seven steps. Most of us are trained or use either right or left side of the brain. There are few examples where we see both sides are used. The right and left sides of the brains constitute just 10% total brain potential. Why waste remaining 90% this high potential source, which is well within our control?

Discipline is one of the key methods, which can harness this high potential brain source. I was stunned to see and hear (in some National Geographic TV program) that only animals use full potential of its brain functions or capacity. It is not just animal’s nature. It is about survival and getting the recognition it wants.

Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment. Do not just wish for something. A wish has been defined as a “goal with no energy behind it”. And, do not just hope… because, hope is not a strategy.

Personality

What is personality? The word "personality" comes from the root persona, which means "mask." Our personality is a mask that we wear. We don't have to wear a mask when we are by ourselves; we wear a mask to express ourselves to others. Our personality is a character, and that character is composed of certain habits. Each of us has numerous habits; so when we want to understand our personality, we should understand our habit patterns. A habit pattern is a conscious thought or action that one repeats again and again. This creates a groove in the unconscious mind and forms an unconscious habit. Unconscious habits are stronger than conscious habits. All habit patterns are self-created. When we sit down and try to understand which of our habits control our life, we see that there are many deep-rooted habits within us. We should learn to study them. Once we become aware of harmful thoughts and emotions that have created deep grooves in the mind, we can begin to change them by creating new grooves. Then the mind will stop flowing to the old grooves and start flowing to the new ones. In this way we can change our habits and thus develop ‘good personality’.

One should also learn to execute ones intentions. For instance, many people (incl. you) have very good intentions to do something nice, help others, and they think about it all the time, but then those thoughts are never executed, they are never allowed to become actions. We become miserable when we never have been able to execute many such thoughts. If we learn to select those thoughts that are helpful and then allow ourselves to execute them, that brings fulfillment, and life will be happy. We create misery for ourselves when we do not bring our good thoughts into action. One of the French writers has explained this concept beautifully: "All good thoughts that are not brought into action are either treachery or abortion." Good thoughts are those that help others and that help us also. Bad thoughts are those that obstruct our progress and create barriers for self and others.

Deep-seated habits can keep us from doing that which we know would be good for us to do. One becomes helpless because of the obsessions and addictions that are caused by ones habits. One may continue in a habit that one know is not good -- that is neither healthy nor helpful and that should not be done -- because the habit has become so deep-rooted that one is powerless to change their behavior. Society does not help them change their bad habits, and there are very few places where they can get help. Actually, no one should be considered either a good person or a bad person; because, a person on its own can never be good or bad. In traditional English law, when someone was punished, he/she was told, "We are not punishing you for yourself. We are punishing you for your bad habits."

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So, develop that personality, which helps you execute good intentions and make it as a deep-rooted habit.

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A Characteristic of Intelligence

Vivekam – a characteristic of intelligence – ability to discern

Sages see consolation as coming from God, marked by an increase of love, and as leading to potentially good decisions. And, desolation as coming from the bad spirit, marked by disturbance and restlessness, and leading to 'continual deceptions'.

A golden rule is never to change a commitment when in desolation, because 'in time of desolation... one can never find the way to a right decision.' ...for discernment, a person must be inwardly free and must be in consolation. But both freedom and consolation are vulnerable. With this as a hinge, sages propose a much more sophisticated attention to the process of one's inwardly movements.

Pay attention not only to the moods of consolation but to their overall orientation. Use the test of time and of where all this is leading you. Examine 'the beginning and middle and end of the course of thoughts' and experiences. If all the fruits are good and lasting, this offers the best available confirmation that the roots are in God.

But if at some stage, an element of the less good creeps, beware. ... typical examples of such signals of danger after early euphoria: some closing of the heart, some opting for rigidity, some inclination not to listen to the advice of family and friends, an impulsiveness, a separation from previous roots (in family), a fundamentalism, an inability to dialogue, indeed an inability to discern. Yes, we all come across these kinds of people.

Often it goes hand in hand with a shrinking of the field of communication to those in the inner circle ...being afraid to explore questions about self-deception with family, a friend or counselor outside immediate circle.

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Most dangerous of all are those who are in the state of constant desolation.

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You Decide!

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father wanted to nip it in the bud. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.... Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all, he told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.

A verbal wound is worse than physical one. The physical wound may heal, but a verbal wound would never heal.

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You can take a step you put, but you can never take back a word you say. The damage is already done if and when said in a bad temper. Never let emotions rule your mind!

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I hope this is not just an interesting story! Some things are bigger and deeper than what we think they are. For example, see this picture:

Our Life Style

We do realize that we have one and only one life; but, still think we could be wrong. Here is a story of a carpenter that will, hopefully, define the true value of one’s life and responsibility.

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A carpenter told his employer of his plans to leave the house-building business and to live a more leisurely life with his wife ENJOYING his family life.

He would miss the pay check, but he needed to think otherwise. The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favour.

The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shabby workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end a dedicated career.

When the carpenter finished his work the employer came to inspect the house. He handed the front-door key to the carpenter. "This is your house,” he said, "My gift to you."

The carpenter was shocked! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently. So it is with us.

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Alas! He is like a human; so do we.

We build our lives, a day at a time, often putting less than our best into the building. Then with a shock we realize we have to live in the house we have built. If we could do it over, we'd do it much differently. But we cannot go back.

Yes, you are the architect of your own. You are that carpenter. Each day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall. "Life is a do-it-yourself project," ‘Your attitudes and the choices you make today, build the "house" you live in tomorrow’.

Build it wisely!

Remember...

“Work like you don't need the money” and “Love like you've never been hurt”